I know I have been keeping you waiting for too long. I am pleased to tell you that the release of the revised A Life Worth Living is almost here. The digital version should be available for your reading pleasure before the end of the year and the print version soon after that.
Your patience is about to pay off.
In the mean time here is the first chapter. I look forward to hearing back from you.
All the best,
T. L. Scott
Chapter 1
The
light from the computer monitor washed the color from his face. It was impossible to tell how much the dark
circles under his bloodshot eyes were caused by the shadows and how much by
fatigue. The sun had set hours ago. On a distant level of his consciousness he
had registered that fact and stowed it away as not immediately relevant. His now cold cup of coffee sat close at hand. It too had been forgotten a long time ago. This, along with many other things, he was
not aware of. He was so engrossed in his
work that all other things had faded into the background for him. He was scrolling through the numbers with his
left hand on the mouse while his right hand, seemingly of its own volition,
entered numbers at a furious pace into the adding machine. The seemingly endless loop of paper which
issued forth from it was another testament to how long he had been at this
task.
This
ability to block out the distractions around him and focus on the task at hand was
one of the things that made him so good at his job. But, as with all things, a balance must be
maintained. Dave was not balanced. He was focused.
The
shrill ring of his desk phone brought him back to the here and now. He looked up at the clock above his door and
was surprised to see how late it was. Everyone
else in the office had already left for the night and here he was, yet again, still
working. He leaned back in his chair
rubbing his tired eyes with one hand as his other hand reached for the phone.
“Thompson
here.” He says.
“Do
you have any idea what time it is?” Debbie
immediately asks.
“Yes
Debbie, I just looked at the clock and I. . .”
“Don’t
tell me,” she said cutting him off. “You
lost track of time again right? You
didn’t realize that it’s already past eight?
Sometimes Dave I feel like you prefer spending your time at the office instead
of with me! You know what?” She pauses and takes a calming breath. “I don’t even care anymore.” There is a tiredness in her voice that hadn’t
been there until recently.
“Debbie,
calm down a minute, I’m in the office working.
It’s not like I’m out at a bar or something. I’m working hard here!” He said with heat in
his voice.
“Dave
don’t you get it? You are still deciding
to spend time doing something else than to be here with us.”
“Do
you think I like working so many hours?
I want to be home with my feet kicked up watching a movie but instead I’m
here wracking my brains.”
“Don’t
you dare talk like you are the only one that works around here! I put in damn long hours too! The difference is that I at least try to work
my schedule around our kids’ big events.
Speaking of which, while you have been wracking your brains Aidan scored the only goal of the game and not
only were you not there to see him do it, yet again, you were not even home for
dinner so he could share it with you then!”
She told him.
Dave
didn’t have anything to say to that and the silence hung heavy over the line.
“Do
you want to know what he said about that Dave?
He said I should go easy on you because you were working hard for all of
us! Do you get that Dave? He was defending you for not being there for him.” Debbie had dropped her voice and was speaking
slowly, enunciating each word. Dave knew
from long experience that she only did it when she was really upset about something,
like now, for example.
“Dave,
we have a great son and you don’t spend nearly enough time with him and you
know it!” she fumed.
“I
already put your dinner in the fridge for whenever you decide to come home.”
Dave
looked at the phone in his hand for a minute.
“She hung up on me?!!” He could
still hear the click as the line had gone dead.
After a while he just shook his head and put the phone down. As upset as he was about the conversation he
had to admit that everything she told him was true. They both knew it too. He leaned back in his leather chair, let out
a long and tired breath, and rubbed his eyes.
This
conversation had been played out many times in many different ways over the
years. He wanted to be with Aidan, not
only because he knew how great he was, but also because he knew that his son
deserved better from him. He really
wished that he could get it all done and have the time to spend with Aidan and
with his daughter Summer too. She was as
neglected and just as deserving of his time.
Dave knew that she was also pretty awesome in her own right. He knew that they had been blessed with two
great kids. He was torn. He worked so hard to provide for his
family. All he really wanted was for
them to have the best life possible. All
of these long hours were for them, not for his ego. All he wanted to do was the right thing. To be honest though, this problem had only
gotten worse over the years.
His
eyes focused on the picture on the corner of his desk. It had been taken how long ago? Was it possible that three years had already
gone by? Aidan and Summer were on each
side of Debbie and they were all making funny faces. The picture had been taken on the dock behind
her parent’s vacation house on the lake.
It had really been a great vacation.
That was the reason it was on the desk.
No matter how bad the day was seeing his family always brought a smile
to his face. It did so this time as
well.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
At
the other end of that broken line Debbie was trying to get herself under
control. The kids were up in their rooms
so she didn’t think they had heard the heated exchange. After hanging up the phone she had sagged
back against the doorframe in the kitchen and slowly collapsed onto the floor. She was so tired, mentally and emotionally
exhausted. She was now sitting with her
arms wrapped around her knees and her head resting back against the solid wood
with her eyes tightly closed. There was
such a weight pushing down on her and she didn’t feel like she had the strength
left in her to get back up again.
“Why
does he do this?” She asked herself for what seemed like the thousandth
time. She didn’t really believe that he
was cheating on her. But that was what
it felt like. He was choosing to spend his time at work
instead of home with her. The job was
his mistress and she was damn tired of it.
A tear leaked out from her closed eyelids. She angrily wiped it away and took a couple
of deep breaths before forcing herself to stand up again. Hearing footsteps on the stairs Debbie picked
herself up off the floor.
“Hi
Mom,” said Summer as she walked to the fridge.
“No
ice cream at this time of night young lady.
You know the rules.” Debbie said
without turning around. She was
surprised how normal her voice sounded.
Inside she felt like everything was coming a part. She was sure her hands were shaking. It was a good thing that she had them busy rinsing
off the dinner plates before putting them into the dishwasher.
“I
know Mom. I’m just getting a glass of
milk.”
“Mom,
are you okay?”
“Yeah
honey, why? Asked Debbie as she turned
to look at her daughter.
“You
just looked, I don’t know, mad there for a minute.”
“Everything
is okay sweetie. Is your homework
done? It’s almost time for bed.” Debbie was reminded just how perceptive her
little girl was. She had been that way
since she was very young.
“Yeah,
I really just came down to give you a goodnight kiss.”
Debbie
finished loading the dishwasher then followed Summer up to her room. She spent a few minutes talking with her
before tucking her in for the night.
They had their routine. She still
liked to have the covers tucked in tight on both sides. Once she was snugly tucked in, almost
swaddled, Debbie would kiss her on the forehead, both cheeks, her chin, and
then a quick peck on the nose. Then she
would touch her forehead to her daughters and say: “sweet dreams baby girl.” To that Summer answered: “You too Mom. Love you.”
By the time Debbie put her hand on the doorknob her little girl was
already drifting off.
Debbie
knocked on Aidan’s door. She hoped he was
not still playing video games. He was
good about following the rule of homework first but not so good about stopping his
game to go to bed on time.
After
she was done following the same routine with Aidan, Debbie made the long walk
down the hall to settle into her bed. It
was times like this that she felt so terribly lonely. She hated going to bed alone. She had spent enough nights alone when Dave
was in the Navy. That was different
though. He was away from her for a good
reason. He was serving his country. Even though she hated being alone then, she
understood why. Lately her well of
understanding was running dry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back
at the office Dave was still working away.
He looked over the spreadsheet that had held his attention for the
better part of the last twelve hours and wondered, yet again, where things had
gone so wrong.
The
economy could not account for the negative yield by itself. What was behind the dip? He truly hoped the trend he felt that he was
onto was not true. Something did not add
up and when that had happened in the past it was because someone had tried to
cover something up. He really hoped that
was not the case here.
Bob
had been with the company for as long as he had. He knew his family. The kids had played Frisbee together at the
company picnic last year.
Dave
hoped there were other reasons for the disparities he was seeing. Oh well, that was a knot to keep worrying at
tomorrow. He put all of the pages back
into the file. The Styrofoam container
that held the remnants of his meatball sub he picked up and put into the trash
can. He took a minute and looked around
his office to make sure that he wasn’t forgetting anything. As he closed the filing cabinet and locked it
for the night he went through the routine of closing his office for the night.
Fortunately
at this hour traffic was light and he pulled into the garage in less than 20
minutes. He quietly let himself in as
the digital clock on the oven changed to 11:27.
“Damn, I didn’t think it was that late.” He said to himself as he put
his keys on the hook by the door.
He didn’t
have an appetite for leftovers and decided to quietly make his way up to
bed. Before he reached the stairs he
noticed the pillow and blanket on the couch.
He just stood there staring at them for a minute. The message could not have been any clearer.
